Dude, I used to worry about everything. EVERYTHING.
Money, my future, my friends, security, stability, happiness, love, time. EVERYTHING.
My life coach really beat me up on this one and helped me realize that I
was a crazy, insecure, anxiety-ridden, control freak about all kinds of weird
stuff. Remember that post where I got
stressed out about running into friends when I was walking the dog?
Slowly, over time, and which much effort, I started to let
go. Here’s how I did it. I only allowed myself to focus on the present
moment - be it walking the dog, washing dishes, practicing fiddle. Whatever I was doing, it was all I let myself think about.
What happened as a result of such? I was much more present IN the moment. I experienced
and enjoyed things on a deeper level.
I’m more alert and focused when I’m working. I listen more to what my friends are saying
when we see each other. And the other
benefit? Because I’m more tuned in and
responsive in the moment, I’m less likely to remember something that happened a
few days ago and think, “OH shit! I totally should have done X in that moment!”
because I was aware and DID X in that moment.
I don’t worry as much about the future because what I do in the present
tends to naturally pave the way for those things.
You can't change the past. You don't know what will happen in the future, but you can control a lot of what you're doing and feeling in the present. I’ve learned that there’s no point in
sweating the stuff that’s out of your immediate reach, that worrying tends to create stress and little else, and also, that things have a weird tendency to work out for the best when you don’t super-obsessively try
to manipulate the outcome.
As for scheduling?
Man, I hate that now! Now that
I’ve let go of my schedule, life creates its own perfect path. The other day I finished something up much earlier than I’d expected and
thought, “Hmm, I wonder what I’ll do with all this free time?” Ten minutes
later, my phone rang.
2 comments:
I mentioned self-compassion on my blog a little while ago, and I think you would really like the book I'm reading now, Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. I got mine from the library.
I just went and took the self-compassion test on her website. My score is as follows:
Self-Kindness: 4.80
Self-Judgment: 1.80
Common Humanity: 3.50
Isolation: 1.00
Mindfulness: 5.00
Over-Identification: 2.25
Overall score: 4.38
Scoring: "Average overall self-compassion scores tend to be around 3.0 on the 1-5 scale, so you can interpret your overall score accordingly. As a rough guide, a score of 1-2.5 for your overall self-compassion score indicates you are low in self-compassion, 2.5-3.5 indicates you are moderate, and 3.5-5.0 means you are high. Remember that higher scores for the Self-Judgment, Isolation, and Over-Identification subscales indicate less self-compassion, while lower scores on these dimensions are indicative of more self-compassion (these subscales are automatically reverse-coded when your overall self-compassion score is calculated.)"
(Imagine Ana doing the Peanuts character dance here.)
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